To Be Hurt

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     Being hurt is a situation which influences the social human being’s life quality, makes him restless and make him have a continuous feeling of oppression.

     Even if it is thought that the meaning of  being hurt is to be the same as  the feelings it is considered as a separate aspect.

     Not every feeling is considered as a hurt .-Those who are too much concerned with the flesh and bone body are referred as being hurt. They have been cross with the world, they could not protect themselves against the variations/different occurrences and the dominant structure of the system have brought them to this state and  the individuals-the societies have been influenced.

     So, in such cases the existence of being hurt is at the forefront.

     Its intensity increases more and more and such that  it leads to  grudge and the desire to take revenge.

     There is no doubt that such attempts are named by the concept sin in the mystical dimension.

     Contrary to the feelings of grudge and hatred it is a logical and valid reason to look at every happenning with tolerance.

     The reactions to being hurt start from childhood. For an example, ‘’when a child who is hurt much starts behaving harshly’’  this means that he will continue to react in the same manner  in the coming decades.

     The state of being hurt should not be considered as something simple. The individual who does not know what to do, who keeps on shouting and who has been hurt keeps these feelings in the depths of his psyche even if he cannot express them completely and even if the years pass by. However, when the time comes he implies them in one way or the other.

     All these attempts are in a way to take his revenge and to make up for his (past) sufferings.

     The individual, even if these attempts do  not make him gain anything    tries to make them.

     He never things about the outcome.

     He does not make any control!

     So,  such an individual  will be punished for what he has done with respect to the degree of hurt that he has caused, even if many years have passed over it.

     When this feeling is analysed it can be seen that it has different aspects.

     When a friend whom you love hurts you without any specific reason  you feel resentment, because such a behaviour has made you upset (made you loose your stable attitude).

     The one who has a lower salary feels hurt even if he has the same status as his colleagues. Although, he   does not want others to feel his despair, hopelessnes, his reaction in some way he implies this both to the employer and to  the one who gets a higher salary.

     When this situation is not  corrected (if, the employer does not try to make up for it), then  the existing conditions continue and in the end there may even be separations.

     Therefore, in order not to have such problems it is necessary to be careful and be keen about the shared values.

     If, too much importance is given to a specific person, then this attitude may hurt the others.

     These people, in spite of the fact that they do not speak it loud their deep inner feelings are reflected on their faces and  (the faces) show openly that they are hurt.

     For example, if  one’s love for someone weighs more against others , then one has to experience/live some unwanted conditions in the existing order.

     Under such conditions the one who has perfection is the winner.  However, in spite of this the instinctive and childish behaviour types become dominant.

     Religion approaches different groups  that have different perceptive capacities by using different names, but  pleases them in the end  by saying ‘’all the muslims are brothers’’, so in this manner  the religion is careful not to break the hearts of  ‘’the members of Islam.’’

     It wouldn’t be correct to say directly to an individual that he is insufficient.  It would be more correct to reach that person with different examples and instead of hurting him it would be wise to say that  s/he  is more important and that is the reason why  criticisms are made (that is the reason why s/he is being criticized).

     Being irrational  has led them to feel beaten, defeated, more inferior and destroyed . Such unstable behaviour would be the sample of ignorance and it would be a crime against humanity.

     There is no doubt that among the individuals the ones who do not  hurt others are the civilized ones  who do not change his adaptation,  flexible attitude,  who can become ashamed and whose faces become red .

     This point is also very important for  the children.

To behave in a more different way to one of  the childen, to separate one child from the other and to show more care to that child than the other  brings along irreparable and hard to estimate situations.

     The elderly family members who do not care about these facts and who continue to behave in the same manner should know that they are making a great mistake.

     However, there is another aspect of  the problem.

     According to the sufi belief  it is not correct for the individual to give a place to  emotions- feelings of hurt in his life.

     A Sufi never says  ‘’I must not  deserve such  hurtful behaviour’’.  He wouldn’t condescend to stop the one who tries to  beat him down, to oppress him.

     He never chooses  to spend careleesly his valuable potential. He does not get hurt, he does not think of taking revenge.  He is not careless and negligent as well. He knows that all of these things which seem negative are for the sake of  minimizing,  bringing his reactions to the level of zero.

     The reason is that the groups  who live with their feelings and who become hurt  are deprived of  the pleasure of knowing Allah and  knowing one’s own self.

     In addition to this they can never have further development in perceiving the decrees of our Rasul.

     Naturally, under these conditions the elevator in which they are in cannot climb up. 

     It just stays where it is.

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Ýstanbul - 17.02.2011