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    The concept of  family is one of  the basic  factors that build up the society,   it can be said that this concept is placed at top of  the list  among others.  This situation is the same not only in our country, but all over the world.  The woman holds the family together and this is a well known fact.

    She, with her wishes (among them the ones regarding the sexuality are repressed) and with her submissiveness becomes a good example for her husband,  protects  her children and with this identity she becomes respectful in her relations both within and outside the family.  

    Thus, it can be said that to a great extent  the woman forms the core of  the family.

As she deserves this.

    The woman who attracts the men of  today wins all the time, because she knows how to connect her spouse  to their home (establish tight bonds with her husband).

It not possible to think of  any woman to act independently (without taking her husband into consideration),

    The logical TV series are always based on this reality.

In the society  a man may choose to live by doing whatever he wishes to do, but the same right is not given to the woman.  Her extreme actions are punished.

    Meanwhile, we have to open a paranthesis and say a few things.   A man may choose to take advantage  of  his wife’s power depending on his point of view.  He puts her on the forefront.  In order to get what he want he may do this without pity. 

    However,  the woman is  furnished with a special kind of patience (which makes one think that this quality belongs only to her) and with the talent of understanding the feelings of  the person in front

    Unfortunately, in the modern communities things go on in this manner.  Whereas, a man who cannot resist the appeal of  a woman can make incredible things come true.

    Virtuous, honest women are always preferred (this is a reason for choice) with respect to the others, because the concept of virtue/honor makes this necessary.   During the recent years  the prejudices regarding the sexual concepts of  the society are changing, however it wouldn’t be correct if we say that this wave is influential over the families. 

    In spite of   different themes and styles the women protects her place within the family.  This is an unavoidable result. As can be understood, ’the family structure, the norms and the traditions’’ do not change easily.  Almost in every place it is possible to find the common points.  The exceptions do not change this rule.  It is possible to witness the examples of this situation that I am talking about  all the time.

    As a result, in the communities regarding the subject of sexuality the points of view are shaped with respect to the position of  the woman both within and outside the family and the attitudes of  the people depend on this.

    In such an atmosphere a man will try to be more careful in approaching a woman within the coverage field of  the family.

    It is interesting that some women even if  they are not so ‘’enter the protection field’’ of  the people whom they trust and accept them as their families. This may not  go beyond an imaginary feeling, but still it is an instinctive satisfaction perhaps the expression of a kind of longing.

    A woman can soften her man who has become influenced  by the different conditions and who tends to be tough.

    She may dominate him.

    This situation makes him to be addressed as a henpecked husband.

    So, the whole balance is upset at this point.  In the end the woman may not gather herself together  due to having that overload and being overconfident.

    The restlessness/the problems and the breaks start atthis point.   The preferences may change.  Especially, in the mystical dimension the head of  the family who has dedicated himself to Allah may not know what to do amidst this emotional development and make the wrong decisions and he may be in a difficult position in front of his wife’s endless wishes. 

    So, the Quran-al-Karim has taken such conditions seriously in hand and stated ‘’…Do not stay married to women who deny the knowledge of truth… Ask them to return whatever you have spent for them and they may ask back what they have spent.  This is the decree of Allah upon you.  Allah is ruling among you.  Allah is Alim, Hakim. (Mumtahanah/10)

    This grave/serious condition is the explanation of a situation where a man has surrendered to the dominance/sovereignty of the woman.   The biggest weapon of the woman under these conditions is her sexuality without doubt.   By her  ‘’I couldn’t care less attitude’’, that is by her spoiled behaviour she may regard the wishes of her man and the existing family order as null.  With this changeable attitude  the woman who was keen about the order of  family life forgets her real duty  and acts/ becomes like satan and her holiness is lost.

    While trying to search for a different image the family starts to tear down slowly.  This time the man tries to hold the family together. 

    All of these factors are contrary to the structure of  the family.

    Of course,  the things that I want to say  show up  not only in the mystical dimensions, but in every field.  As the woman rejects to be under pressure then this will bring along the complicated results/problems that are very hard to solve.

    Especially, the tendency that opposes the conservative family structure in spite of all these cannot solve its problems.  The most important mistake is  that the weak  men follow these thought structures. They focus on this emotional behaviour and approach their continuously complaining their wives saying ‘’he does not fulfill my needs’’ in this manner.  As they think ‘’If, I say such and such a thing it will return back to me/she will react’’.

    It is understood that the head of  the family could not realise the seriousness  of  what is happening, left his wife  aside  and  he did not think about the fact that his family will become a cult within a short time. He also did not perceive the fact that he would be responsible for this. 

    The most bitter thing is that the other members of  the family-the children have   accepted their  bad luck in a misery.


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Bodrum - 30.09.2010