y admiration for him is solely the expression of  my  weakness/helplessness. This is the helplessness  that  you know….
This is how a normal person feels when he is with him…
I am not talking about the incapability, the weakness which expresses the position of a Universal Man who becomes aware of  the meanings that he cannot manifest in proportion to those which he can manifest.

I  know it very well that by the things that I  put forth in order to tell  my deep love for him, I won’t be able to make any contributions to him.

Imagine an endless sea shore. If you add just one grain of sand to this shore, will the value of the shore increase?
Even thinking of such a thing is nonsense.
If  I suggest such a thing you would not take it into consideration and say ‘’Come on, this is not possible’’…

My praising him, my concern with him is a thing like this (a grain of sand in the endless shore).
Yet, I must still be concerned with him without getting seperated from him and speak about my admiration for him.

Why shouldn’t I do this?…  I cannot see any reason to stop this…

As a matter of fact I do not feel myself as  separate from him, as a separate being!.

Dear Only One!
While I was looking at your face with astonished looks you used to read my mind and say ‘’What kind of a thought is this; how strange it is for one to hate oneself!’’…

Then you used to give me lots of advice and continued your words by saying ‘’First of all you should learn how to be at peace with yourself’’.

‘’You should be at peace and harmonious with your mind, your thoughts and your body; you won’t be able to go anywhere by hating yourself!..!’’

Upon hearing these I was always astonished …

How powerful you are!…
Now, I understand you much better. During the times when you were widespread, when you had made yourself felt there was no place for very close individual relations. The friendships were not important.
Because, there was only you.
It was impossible not to mention   ‘’You’’.
Everybody used to look at you with admiring looks. Those who had the courage and the power wanted to join you and those who  did not have enough courage and power sat on the outside and could not say a word.

Dear ‘’Only One’’; you were rather strange!..  The Universe wanted to observe the existance through your eye, but you observed yourself.

In the places where you were present there wasn’t any place for  doubts and questions based on false suppositions such as …

‘’Why?’’

‘’For what Purpose?’’

‘’How come?’’

‘’I wonder if ….?’’

Tomorrow was only a small package in the life coming from the infinity and going to infinity.

At your presence nobody thought about ‘’tomorrow’’,  everybody  was content with ‘’
‘’today’’.  The one who was content with what he had ‘’today’’    used to give it to another  who was not content with what he had  ‘’today’’.

The qualities which we named as ‘’humanly’’ were loosing   their value in your presence.

Weren’t you the one who had said that the only representative, the only species for the conscious being  was the human being ?

Hadn’t we perceived through your warnings that  having the manners of  Allah  was not the same as the prevailing understanding of manners in this world  and these two did not have any relation with each other? 

Weren’t you the one who made us become aware of the fact that the most important one among the qualities of the human being was knowing one’s essence?
Weren’t you the one who told us that  the values such as  good and  bad,  ugly and   beautiful,  dirty and  clean,  right and wrong were only relative values for the human being who  is known as ‘’the most noble among the created beings?’’

You were the only person who said that nobody had the right to speak in the name of Allah, and in those societies dominated by the people who were speaking in the name of Allah, there wasn’t any trace of  freedom. 

You had informed us that the ego that was going at full speed ahead would loose at the end.

You did not have people gathered around  you. You also did not have any followers, in front of you, behind you nor on your side.
There wasn’t another you other than you yourself.
You did not have another aspect also. As far as I know,  your variability was not the change that you yourself had.

You never accused anyone. You did not have any reason for  accusing anyone.
Your love would climb to such heights and it was lived in such a way that the lover got lost in the loved one and the loved one started to exist in the lover.
Your love did not accept any enemies.

You were not far off, beyond reach and the people were very happy. They were filled with you and they lived you. All the contradictions were abolished when together with you. It was only possible to overcome the problems with you.  In short, the exhaling could be possible with you.

I  have  always tried to describe you as the wind, as a cloud,  as a ray of light.  That was a description without any shape, without any limitation, without an end, that was a description according to me…
The only thing that I knew about you was that you did not have any limits, any borders, any finishing lines.
The only thing that I wished was to be the
Only One like you.

Dear Only One, at your presence there  were not any faults.    When someone lived you  he did not have any colour. At your presence there wasn’t any duality, any differences.

You were so obvious that there could not be  anyone to complain to others or to tell you about others.

I would like to speak about a feeling which should be left outside those beautiful things, the big words by which I try to remember and mention you, but end up with failure.
This feeling is gossip…
However, gossip is the daily practice of the individual like inhaling and exhaling…
According to some it is the basis of thepersonality. Some thinkers accept gossip as the oldest behaviour type  on the world.
Aren’t you telling that even intelligence, wisdom take their start from gossip?
Why, so many human beings have become the soldier of  gossip and now why have they ended up being addicted to gossip?

While you were here, you did not give way to gossip; nobody could say any intriguing word.

Dear Only One, at those times while you were like a tornado, nobody felt offended by you; moreover they tried to express their loyalty to you.

You were a whole.

It was only you who was present;

Who showed himself  in evey place, who made his existance felt.

Have you put a veil over your face in order not to be recognized?

Now, those who see you like this, those who have  known you only a little bit are in great sorrow…

Now, neither the words of Hallac ‘’enel  hak’’, nor  Arabi’s  words ‘’the god which you are worshipping is beneath my feet’’ do not give anything to the individuals.

The words  of Hz. Rasul of Allah ‘’people are asleep’’ do not seem to reach the people.

There are somethings that reach, but I really am reluctant to tell them.

Now, the ‘’hidden treasure’’ is watching/observing the universes with the quality which he considered as proper for him.

Istanbul-August 17^th 2000
http://afyuksel.com