I have written this article for that magnificent person, the Rasul of Allah Hz.Muhammed (s.a.v).  I hope that we  can be worthy enough to  be his community.

Today, I would like to write a subject which I have not mentioned since a long time. 

I intend to write about  love as much as I can and  to the extent that I have lived it. This is a concept with which the  people who lack the basic values of life are  not familiar.

Erich Fromm is  one of  the thinkers of  the twentieth century who has studied and thought much about the formation  of  man. He says the following in his book ‘’The Art of Loving’’:-

‘’Love is not an ordinary  feeling that can be tasted  by anyone who wishes without reaching a certain level of maturity.’’  Following this he continues ‘’When you do not develop yourself, your personality   to be creative, then  all your efforts to love will be useless. It is not possible to reach a satisfaction in love without having the ability to love one’s neighbour, without being truly  modest, without being bold and courageous, without having belief and discipline.  ‘’

According to Fromm ‘’love is not a process of  taking, but giving’’. He says   ‘’the one  who owns much is not rich, but  instead the one who gives much.’’  This statement of his is in full harmony with the hadith of  that magnificent person Allah’s Rasul that says ‘’the hand that gives is superior to the hand that takes’’

When I look   from the point of love, then I evaluate this statement of  our esteemed Master as ‘’the one who loves is superior to the one who does not love’’.  The reason is that the person who loves is positive,  his love has spread  in every direction. In comparison with the other kind (the unloving person)  he is  much more refined in every aspect, more mature and has perfection.

In Fromm’s book, it is told that love, which seems to be an  existence problem of a human being, is actually a whole that includes  all kinds of love such as the   love for a sister/brother, love for  the mother, love in sexual terms, the love you have for yourself  and the love of Allah.    For us it is the same too, because every kind of  love reaches Allah in the end. 

Who can love and how shall we recognize the ones who love?  It would be correct to make the following observation for this purpose:-

If,  one  does not exaggerate showing off*,  tries his best in order not to show his problems to others, if  s/he does not tell lies about others and do harm to them intentionally,  if s/he  is not afraid to take risks,  cares much  in order not to scare  his/her loved one,  does not deal with abstract things such as trying  to draw nearer to someone for his/her own benefit or  praising others insincerely,  then it should be understood that the  glowing coal of  a fire has fallen into the heart of  this person.  S/he has been carried away by the flood of  love and surrendered completely.

The truth is that   this simple evaluation can be  possible when the person in love agrees with and accepts this  freely.

Unfortunately, the ones who are left beyond these signs (of  love) are the ones who have not been able to taste love.

Then, what about the ones   who grow up in today’s world where everything is measured with money. What are they going to do?     

It is possible to explain this a little bit with luck and base our explanations on the  point  whether the today’s shopping world  is suitable for the love to flourish.   However, we can say that the prerequisite for love to flourish is that the individual should not choose to go around in shallow places.

If, love is right and within the correct  rules, if it is careful about the social relations, then it is valid and legal. An individual does not love for taking revenge or for the purpose of  creating the circumstances based on compelling.         If, his behaviour shows the signs of   acquiring power, forcing and blackmailing, then this is not love and it can only be ‘’to be fond of  something‘’ which lasts only for a short time.

Another important subject is that the last stop in love is to love more intensely.  The person who loves runs after love with all his power and strength.  When the love is completed, then   the duality  of  the lover and the loved is abolished. It leaves the place to the one who made the existence come true. 

May you remain with love and may you be entrusted to Allah....

*( to show off : to behave so as to try to get attention and admiration for oneself and  for one’s abilities),


Istanbul, April 19th,2007

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