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A relationship is an outcome of one’s
struggle for survival. This is a concept which differentiates
one from the others and also it is a means to put forth his
attributes.
It points out that it is necessary for the
individuals involved to have that sense of unity/togetherness
more than ever. The people who know how to get more pleasure
from life are successful in their relationships too.
In a relationship one may loose a loving
person or a close one. If the relationship is making the
individual rather ashamed (making the cheeks turn into red),
then most probably that relation will be disturbed. The
relationships which are not convincing in terms of sincerity are
bound to come to an end although they have lasted for a long
time. In such a case it is certain that there would be an
incredible loss.
However, those relationships will survive
till to the grave in which there is no place for doubt, no place
for worry and where there is responsibility. Everybody longs
for to have a true relationships.
To have a relationship with an individual
requires a certain amount intimacy, to open up oneself to the
other, to describe oneself and a relaxed attitude.
The individuals concerned can immediately
understand their thoughts, how much they are interested in one
another, how much they are close or how far they are to each
other as well as understanding their positive and negative
potentials.
For example, if an individual does not love
you, then you may not love him/her too. However, if s/he loves
you, then you may love him/her too. A joke which is not
compatible with your mood or some sort of crazy action beyond
the limits may put you in difficulty and cause the relationship
to be hurt. If you have been dissappointed by a friend, then
you may loose your ability of reasoning and forecasting the
future. On the other hand, an aggressive attitude dries off
the roots of the relation. Perhaps you are in need of talking
in such an aggressive manner just for comforting yourself, but
this in the end will cause you to loose some of your relations
as well as your values.
Another important point is that in a
relationship the individuals do not accept to have a secondary
placement in the mind of the other.
The moves/the tactics made to stop any
relationship either between the individuals or within the
community do not have a chance for success and if we do such a
thing, then it may turn into something which would be harmful
for us.
Of course, the physical closeness (living in
close places or meeting one another frequently) of the person
whom you are relating is important. However, if your
relationhip has reached the true values, then it wouldn’t be
disturbed even if one of you is at the other end of the world.
The relationship between Allah’s Rasul Hz.Mohammad
and Hz.Veysel Karani living in Yemen is a very good example for
this. Although they have not seen each other with the physical
eye (although they were living far away from each other,
although they have not met one another in physical terms) our
Rasul has said vey interesting things about this esteemed person.
Allah’s Rasul emphasises what this
relationship means to him by saying ‘’I am getting the smell
of the Rahman /the Beneficient from the direction of Yemen’’.
As it is known when our Rasul’s tooth was
broken in the war of Bedr, Hz. Veysel Karani too had broken the
same tooth in his mouth.
There are some aspects in the relationships
which we may not know.
It would be right to say that the friendship
of the individuals continue in the hidden/invisible realm even
if their relationship seems to be cut off in the visible realm.
Some statements that have been made openly by them are not
valid. However, the ones who are evaluating the events only
within the scope of their eye’s dimension will have difficulty
in understanding this point.
The individuals in a relationship may show
that they are sharing the opinion of one another by nodding
their heads or by giving a smile.
For example, in a community you can feel the
existing relations among the members and control your behaviour
towards those people. If a relation should be kept as secret/private,
then the partners may give each other a signal by blinking their
eyes and start artificial arguments.
Those individuals who are willing to go into
a relationship, but who take this proposal back by some reason
are not favored.
Meanwhile, we should not forget about the
relationships which go to the extremes, which do not accept any
limits and which make one mad.
Sometimes, we can witness that a situation
which seems unpleasant at the start may lead to deep rooted
relationships in time. From this we can conclude that during
the time that have passed both sides in their unconscious have
examined each other and made a bargain for having a strong
relationship.
Among the relationhips the most important
ones are the ones based on ‘’LOVE’’. There is nothing much to
say about this which is much more above the relationships in the
physical sense.
The changes can never disturb such
relationships.
We can see the examples for this in the
relationship between Mawlana and Þems, Taptuk and Yunus, Kerem
and Aslý, Leyla and Mecnun.
Such relationships continue without any
separation. (There is never a separation in such a realtionship)
Only the one who has tasted and lived such a
relation can know this!
Even after death it cannot be separated into
two!…
Istanbul, March 16rd 2003
http://sufizmveinsan.com
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