A relationship is an outcome of  one’s struggle for survival.  This is a concept which differentiates one from the others and also it is a means to put forth his attributes.

It points out that it is necessary for the individuals involved to have that sense of unity/togetherness more than ever.  The people who know how to get more pleasure from life are successful in their relationships too.

In a  relationship one may loose a loving person or a close one. If the relationship is making the individual rather ashamed (making the cheeks  turn into red), then most probably  that  relation will be disturbed.  The relationships which are not convincing in terms of sincerity are bound  to come  to an end although they have lasted for a long time.  In such a case it is certain  that there would be an incredible loss.

However,  those relationships will survive till to the grave in which there is no place for doubt, no place for worry and  where there is responsibility.  Everybody longs for  to have a true relationships.

To have a relationship with an individual requires a certain amount intimacy, to open up oneself  to the other, to describe oneself and a relaxed attitude.

The individuals concerned can immediately understand their thoughts, how much they are interested in one another, how much they are close or how far they are  to each other as well as understanding their positive and negative potentials.

For example, if  an individual does not love you, then you may not love him/her too. However, if  s/he loves you, then you may love him/her too.  A joke which is not compatible with your mood or  some sort of  crazy action beyond the limits may put you in difficulty and cause the relationship to be hurt.  If you have been dissappointed by a friend, then you may loose your ability of reasoning and forecasting the future. On the other hand, an aggressive attitude  dries off  the roots of  the relation.  Perhaps you are in need of talking in such an aggressive  manner just  for comforting yourself, but this in the end will cause you to loose some of your relations as well as your values. 

Another important point is that in a relationship the individuals do not accept to have a secondary placement in the mind of  the other.

The moves/the tactics  made to stop  any  relationship either  between the individuals or within the community do not have a chance for success and if we do such a thing, then it may turn into something which would be harmful for us.

Of course, the physical closeness (living in close places or  meeting one another frequently) of  the person whom  you are relating is important.  However, if your relationhip has reached the true values, then it wouldn’t be disturbed even if one of you is at the other end of  the world.

The relationship between Allah’s Rasul Hz.Mohammad and Hz.Veysel Karani living in Yemen is a very good example for this.   Although they have not seen each other with the physical eye (although they were living far away from each other, although they have not met one another in physical terms) our Rasul has said vey interesting things about this esteemed person. 

Allah’s Rasul emphasises what this relationship means to him  by saying ‘’I am getting the smell of  the Rahman /the Beneficient from the direction of  Yemen’’.

As it is known when  our Rasul’s tooth was broken in the war of Bedr, Hz. Veysel Karani too had broken the same tooth in his mouth.

There are some aspects in the  relationships  which we may  not know.

It would be right to say that the friendship of  the individuals continue in the hidden/invisible realm even if  their relationship seems to be cut off in the visible realm.   Some statements that  have been made  openly by them   are not valid.  However, the ones who are evaluating the events only within the scope of  their eye’s dimension will have difficulty in  understanding  this point.

The individuals in a relationship  may show that they are sharing the opinion of one another by nodding their heads or by giving a smile.

For example, in a community you can feel the existing relations among the members and control your behaviour  towards those people. If  a relation should be kept as secret/private, then the partners may give each other a signal by blinking their eyes and start artificial arguments.

Those individuals who are willing to go into a relationship, but  who take this proposal back by some reason   are not  favored.

Meanwhile, we should not forget about the relationships which go to the extremes, which do not accept any limits and which make one mad.

Sometimes, we can witness that a situation which seems unpleasant at the start may lead to deep rooted relationships in time.  From this we can conclude that during the time that have passed both sides in their unconscious have examined each other  and made a bargain for having a strong relationship.

Among the relationhips the most  important ones  are  the ones based on ‘’LOVE’’.  There is nothing much to say about this which is much more above the relationships in the physical sense.

The changes can never  disturb such relationships.

We can see the examples for this in the relationship  between Mawlana and Þems, Taptuk and Yunus, Kerem and Aslý, Leyla and Mecnun.

Such relationships continue without any separation. (There is never a separation in such a realtionship)

Only the one who has tasted and lived such a relation can know this!

Even after death it  cannot be separated into two!…


Istanbul, March 16rd 2003  

Üst Ana sayfa e-mail